So early in the morning on November 11, 2009 your sister, Kadrie, your daddy and me all went to the airport to catch our plane to Kansas City. We finally got to the hospital around 3:30 that afternoon. It felt like it took forever. I was so excited to finally see you in person and I was stunned by just how gorgeous you were. I had seen pictures but they did not do justice to how gorgeous you really were. You were just peacefully sleeping. Hannah was so sweet and handed you to me. I loved the feeling of holding you in my arms. You were such a good baby from the very beginning. We only could spend about an hour with you that first day, but we were able to stay the night at the hospital starting the next night. It was so wonderful to wake up with you at night. You didn't sleep well just in the bassinet by yourself so I had you sleep snug up right next to me. On Friday November 13th we went to court. I should have realized it was Friday the 13th and that things wouldn't go very well. When we got to the courthouse we were told that Richard would not sign the papers and allow us to adopt you. This was emotionally very hard for your dad and me. We had planned and waited for this for the last four months. We couldn't imagine what it would be like to have to fly back home without you. We had already attached to you and you were our daughter. This was very hard on Hannah, too. She knew this is what she wanted for you. An agreement was made to wait until Monday and we would allow Richard to think about it all weekend and then we would go to court again. It was a very emotionally draining and hard weekend for our family and a weekend I never want to go through again. We wanted so badly for you to be in our family, but we knew it was out of our hands at that point and we left it up to our Heavenly Father to do what he felt was best for you. Eventhough we knew we might lose you and not be able to take you home, I did not feel right just leaving you at the hospital. I knew that the nurses would feed you and change you and hold you some but no one there was going to hold you and cuddle you the way a mom does. Even if I was only your mommy for a few days it was better than nothing. Finally, Monday came and we went to court again. Once again Richard changed his mind and refused to sign. This was heartbreaking for us. How could we go home with empty hearts, empty arms and an empty pocketbook? How am I going to go in to your nursery that I had decorated just for you and not cry so hard? How long will it take for my heart to stop hurting? Then at around 4pm our lawyer came in and said that Richard had signed the papers. I know that this decision for Richard was a very agonizing and hard one to make. I feel that he thought he was abandoning you when in all reality nothing could be further from the truth. He made a wonderful decision to allow us to be able to raise you and give you all that we can. I hope one day he will understand adoption and realize that he did not do anything wrong and that he did not abandon you. I am so proud of Hannah and how strong she is. She could so easily have backed out, but she stayed strong to give you all she wanted you to have. At around 6pm we went to the hospital for the last time and we put you in your car seat and put you in the car to take you home. Finally, we could call you Tailee and you were ours.
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